What My Life in Italy Looks Like Now vs. What I Expected

When I started planning my move to Italy, I had a vision of what I hoped my life would look like.

While some aspects of that vision (casual coffee with friends, for example) have absolutely become my reality, I've gotten more than I bargained for in my dolce vita.

2021: My Vision of Life in Italy

I began my planning in earnest in 2021, right in the middle of the lockdown. Hey, having something positive to get me through helped!

I wanted to live right by the sea and go swimming every day.

I envisioned myself shopping at the farmer's market every week, walking everywhere through the picturesque village where I lived, greeting people left and right.

I imagined lots of travel in Italy and beyond. Shopping at artisanal boutiques. Suddenly having a sense of style that meant I always looked good.

I hoped to find an Italian man eventually and fall in love. I hoped his mother wouldn't be the meddling kind.

2025: My ACTUAL Life in Italy

Honestly, most of these things have become a reality.

I've lived in two houses by the sea, and in the summer, I practically live in the crystal waters. What I couldn't have foreseen is that I would actually be okay with moving away from the sea and to the mountains.

What I didn't know is that living by the sea is good most of the time...except in August. Then, it's unbearably hot and crowded. All the Italians descend on Soverato, which means there's no parking. And there's trash.

So, cooler mountain town? I'm down.

In Soverato, we lived right above the weekly Friday market, and I went sometimes, but not that much. Sometimes it was just easier to go to the grocery store if I needed other things.

The one big thing that didn't pan out exactly as I hoped is the fact that, while I didn't want to have a car here, I do. My fantasy of a town where I could walk to everything was shattered when I arrived in Calabria. Sure, some towns have everything you need within walking distance, but the bigger grocery stores are a drive away. And then if I want to explore mountain towns, there's not always public transportation.

As far as knowing everyone where I live, that didn't happen in Soverato. I knew a few people, but everyone minds their business there. I have made great friends and have been on some wonderful adventures.

Having just moved to Davoli, that's all going to change, since everyone knows me as l'americana now married to Fra. I love stepping outside and seeing a friend or one of the old guys at the bar and saying hi. We'll see how cute that is long term!

In terms of travel, I haven't done as much as I'd like. But I realized: the reason I travel is to experience other cultures. My life in Calabria is one big lesson in culture, so I have less itch to travel. For now.

When I first moved here, I made an effort not to walk around in sweatpants because I had the idea that Italians were too fancy to do that, and I didn't want to be judged as a messy American. I finally looked around and realized there were people dressed casually, and I stopped giving a damn what people thought!

I did, of course, fall in love with an Italian. We started dating just nine months after I arrived, so my entire experience living in Italy has been shaped by being with Fra and his family. In the best way possible.

What I Couldn't Have Anticipated

What I in no way could have predicted was how immersed in Calabrian traditions (or more specifically, Davoli traditions) I would become.

I have:

• Made fresh salsiccia

• Harvested olives

• Picked cherries

• Collected chestnuts

• Made bread and sweets in a wood-fire oven

• Made pasta

• Canned pasta sauce

• Made wine

And what's interesting is that not every family in Italy or even Calabria does all this. In Soverato, I've talked to friends who wistfully remember that their nonne used to do all these traditions, but they've since been lost.

So I recognize how absolutely special it is that my new family keeps these traditions alive. And I'm honored to be a part of them.

If you're planning a move to Italy, I encourage you to envision what you hope your life will look like...but also leave room for what it actually will become. Because that's where the magic is.